Oh Pimple, Why Art Thou Pimple?

So, here it is, the day of my show at the Royal, and who makes an auspicious appearance? Mr. Zit of course, big and jolly red, and he kissed me right on the cheek. Must be the stress, maybe I' m hormonal, but it never seems 2 fail.

Anyhoo, my show is tonight. Please come. It's for a good cause. It's so I can pay my band a little something something and won't have to pay the Royal. Last time, we packed the house. So, I'm anxious to see what the turn out will be like tonight. I lot of my "faithfuls" can't make it for various life-induced reasons, but I'm optimistic I've got some new "faces" coming.

So, my keyboardist quit ... well, not so much quit as just stopped showing up for rehearsals. So, it's just four of us now - drums, bass, guitar and moi. And honestly, at our last rehearsal on Wednesday we sound dayum good. So, I'm hyped about tonight. Can't wait to tear the roof off the place!

Hopefully, I'll see U there!

"Strip bare, fall and crawl N2 my private room. No whips and no chains ... unless U want me 2." - Saturn, Deviant

The Nominations R IN!

The OUTmusic nominations have just been announced and GUESS WHAT?!!!!!!!!! I wasn't nominated. Not 4 one single damn award. Color me blue. Well, I still plan on flying to Chicago and crashing their party, LOL.

Much love and props goes out 2 my friend Tori Fixx on his double nominations. U go boy!!! Richly deserved. I'll be rooting 4 U in Shy Town!

"I don't wanna be a poet cuz I don't wanna blow it. I don't care 2 win awards. All I wanna do is dance, play music, sex, romance and try my best 2 never get bored." - Prince, D.M.S.R.

Dating 101- The Callback

One thing I've realized since I gave up casual sex to pursue dating in the hopes of eventually finding "my man" is just how rusty I am at dating. I shouldn't say rusty, actually, more like inexperienced. I've only ever gone on just a handful of dates, which is pretty sad if you ask me and all the more reason to do what I'm doing. Why should I perpetuate the myth that all gay men want to do is screw? (Even if it is partially true.)

So, I've had my second "date" since this new phase in my life began, and unlike the first guy, this guy was not a moron, not a liar and anything but a whore. Nope, he was charming, a gentleman and a complete nutball (which I like because I'm a bit silly myself.) Not to mention very sexy. Yeah, he turned me on, which is extremely important. (If it wasn't, I'd have a man by now, but unfortunately we can't control what we "chemically" respond 2, know what I'm saying?)

So, all and all, a good date. At the end of the night I wondered ... will there be a second one? Is there some kind of etiquette to follow? When should I call him to say I'd like to see him again? The next day might seem too eager. If I wait too long he'll think I'm not interested. Or should I take the fact that he didn't say he wanted to see me again at the end of the date as a sign that he doesn't want 2 see me again? What's a boy 2 do here?

Well, luckily enough 4 me, I didn't have 2 do a damn thing. I got "the callback". Yup, he called me the next night and we will go out again. Fabulous. Hopefully, our busy schedules permitting, I'll be off onto the (drumroll) ... afeared and anticipated second date.

Thinking back on my short-lived dating past, I've only gotten to the "second" date twice in my life, (not counting that girl I dated in high school ... oh, please, everybody's at least tried it, right?) Both times I got to the second date, I ended up seriously dating those guys. Will the same thing happen here? Time shall tell!

One thing is 4 sure ... dating can actually be fun! I'll have 2 do more of this!

"C - C - C - Call me, ooooh, when U need me, baby!" - Tweet, Call Me

WTF - The Perils of Blogging

Be careful what U blog, because somewhere someone who doesn't understand that we live in a free country will report U. Or maybe it isn't as free as we'd like 2 think. What are the limits of free speech?

Courtesy of Rotten, a high school drum major was "stripped of his drum major position, given an in-school suspension and barred from participating in music-related extracurricular activities and performances for the remainder of the year" for publishing a "profanity-laced entry in an online journal." (Read the full article here.)

If U read more you'll see that police got involved as well because of a posting (I'm not sure if it was by the same kid or not) that allegedly threatened someone. I understand the threat of violence being investigated in light of all the recent tragedies we've had at school with nut jobs going in and shooting random people, but when do our liberties start to be trounced upon? And should they be?

Well, the kid has enlisted the help of the ACLU in this matter. Good 4 him. But what about the rest of us bloggers? If I say something like **fuck bush** will the almighty Republican wrath come down upon me? Will I be entered into some database that says I'm a national threat? Will some cleverly dressed and hopefully ruggedly handsome men come knocking on my door, flashing badges and asking questions 2 which I can only respond:

"What the f*ck???"

or I could just say "come on in officers, I just go nuts 4 men in uniform." :-)

Pabst Blue Ribbon Boy

Well, you see now, I haven't been slacking too much on the promotion end. I had a lot of people come up to me this weekend saying "hey, I saw your ad in the City Paper! Congrats!" They were referring to my Pabst Blue Ribben sponsored ad. How awesome is that?!! Only problem is, of course, the ad didn't mention one thing about my show on Friday, but that couldn't be mentioned because of some legal reasons. So, while it was great press with a lot of visibility, it's not going to get any people to my show unfortunately, which is where it's at, u know? BUT, it will get my name and face in front of people who've never heard of me and hopefully get some people to my website. But will anyone actually buy a CD? Do they teach a class somewhere on how 2 sell more cds? Do I have 2 bribe folks? What must I do???? ;-)

I'm getting there, I'm on my way, I can feel it ...

"Cuz you're a New York City Boy ..." - Pet Shop Boys, New York City Boy

PS: My show on Friday is at the Royal, 1542 Light St. Details on my website.

Candy Shop

Candy Shop is number 1 for the ninth straight week! Ewwww, can I vomit now? This is the best we got, folks??? Come on!

"It's a mad world." - Gary Jules, Mad World

Networking

So, I drove all the way down 2 Bethesda last night 2 attend the relaunch of Indie Managers in hopes of connecting with managers, radio people and other artists. I hadn't done a networking event in a long time, and damn, I really need 2 be out there! I met many fantastic people and just got an overwhelming positive vibe from the whole thing. Very happy I went.

Somebody said "networking is everything." Maybe that's what I've been doing wrong. I've been so caught up in the minutia that I've neglected the big picture which is you need people helping you to get anywhere. Here I am sending out press kits, getting flyers done, trying to figure out where I can perform and sell CDs, when I need to just be out meeting folks.

One thing I learned from last night, I've been doing a lot, but it still isn't nearly enough. I have 2 refocus my priorities in order 2 maximize my time when I'm not stuck in jail (jail being my desk job).

But I think something really good is going to come from last night. I can just feel it.

"Good things will come in due time." - Saturn, Good Things Will Come

What the Hell do the Stars Know?

So, as a matter of habit I read my Horoscope on my Yahoo page every morning. I'm not all into astrology or anything, but strangely enough, it's usually pretty friggin accurate ... EXCEPT 4 lately. All the love shit it's been telling me lately has been a load of crap which is basically a "kick me while I'm down" sort of thing. See, today it says:

Don't let even one more day pass without getting together with the person you've been dreaming about. It really wouldn't be fair -- to you, of course, but to them, too. With the kind of mood you're in, they'll get to see the depth and intensity you're so famous for -- and the passion, too. Don't keep it from them, and don't be afraid to make the first move, either. They'll love it, and you'll be having a ball.

Ok, first of all, I haven't been dreaming of anyone in particular, just someone. It's been five whole weeks now since I declared I was giving up casual sex in order to focus on dating and finding a relationship and you know what? I haven't gone on one single friggin' date yet, not one. And it's not like I haven't tried. One guy wasn't ready, one guy was a lying moron and the other one just wasn't interested. So, I've been putting my foot out there to get rejected - a lot more than I usually do. But where do u go 2 meet new people? The gay bars in Baltimore are definitely NOT the place apparently. I've tried online ads before and they have never worked. I'd send out about 20 emails and get zero responses. I'm not kidding. So, what's left?

Well, I'm sticking 2 my guns. 5 weeks isn't enough time yet. But I sure do wish my horoscope would stop sticking it 2 me already!

"Love come quick. Love come in a hurry." - Prince, Thieves in the Temple

WTF - Dick on Display

Today's WTF entry comes via rotten. There is a man in Mesa, AZ being held on $18,000 bond awaiting his trial for ... get this ... putting pictures of his dick and balls on the windshield of over 100 womens' cars:

"A 41-year-old man is behind bars today after he told police he left photos of his genitals on the vehicles of up to 100 women in the East Valley, officials said. Police arrested Jeffery Howard Pritchert, of Mesa, on Tuesday... police have been investigating at least 30 reports of photos left on the cars of women since 1999... Mesa police got a break in the case when a man left DNA when he touched himself in front of women at two separate locations in November and December."

Maybe he was trying to get a date and he didn't have a computer? I guess it's a good thing that Eubie Blake banned my flyers a couple of years ago because I appeared shirtless in a "provocative" pose, or else I might have put them on people's cars thinking it would promote my show when in fact it could have landed me in the slammer! I wouldn't be sitting 2 pretty in central booking, if u know what I mean!

In any case, homeboy needs to get out. His behavior isn't just Deviant (<--- u like that plug?), it's completely weird and it makes me wonder ...

What the f#ck???

What Makes Me So Special?

I don't mean 2 ask that question in a glib manner, but in a musical manner. I was watching a live show the other night, and as a musicain and performer I'm always breaking things down, figuring out what's working and what's not, but more importantly ... what the audience is responding to.

I have to find what it is that sets me apart from everyone else and work it! As an independent artist, my goal is to somehow find a way to make enough money from my music to do it full time and really devote my time and energy into growing my audience and improving my craft. The main way to make money as an independent artist is to sell CDs and merchandise. Well, selling CDs online don't work, at least I haven't found a way for it to work for me yet. The main place to sell your cds and grow your audience is via live shows. Well, you already know what a struggle it is getting booked and doing live shows, so I'm always looking for ways to spruce up my show and really stand out so that I can pack in the crowds, get them coming back and get them buying my music!

So, I'm standing there watching this band, and though the music was solid, after about ten minutes I was bored. I looked around and saw that only a handful of people were actually watching the band anymore, most were chilling and chatting and drinking with their friends, which is fine, but it's not what I want and not what I shoot for. A concert should be like an event, like when Coldplay or Prince or Janet Jackson comes to town and you CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THEM! That's the way I want people 2 feel about me. So, what is it that those artists do that keeps people so excited to see them live. Well, besides being famous, which, let's face it, is a factor, they are top notch entertainers and have legions of fans who KNOW THEIR MUSIC. I think that's a key element ... the experience is enriched when you actually know the music you're hearing played and can sing along. So, how do I get people 2 know my music? They have to buy my CD and actually listen to it. And where do they buy the CD 9 times out of 10? At a show. So, I could think of this as a catch 22, but it's really more like a cycle.

So, in order to be successful as an independent artist, I have got to stand apart, be different, be special, and find that niche audience. And I think I am. Nobody is doing the style of music that I'm doing on a local level, and very few do it even on a regional level. So, the music sets me apart, but what will set me apart live? I know I'm a pretty good entertainer. You can always tell when you're connecting with your audience and when you're not, and at my last show, they were right there with me, but most of the audience were people that I knew personally. So, what will draw people who are NOT MY FRIENDS ALREADY to one of my shows???? That's the question of the day 2 which I don't have an answer.

Any suggestions or comments out there in cyberland? In an environment where most people couldn't be more apathetic about seeing live music, especially independent live music, what will get you to a show??

"Welcome 2 the picture show ..." - Lenny Kravitz

If You're Black it Costs More $$$

I found this article very interesting in that it showed tangible proof of racism today in bars in New Orleans. It wasn't particularly enlightening though. Even in a liberal state like Maryland and in a city that's predominantly black like Baltimore, I still encounter latent racism (and in some cases blatant racism), even (and sometimes especially) in the gay community, which is just a crock of hypocritical shit in my humble opinion. Then again you have some black people who are homophobes. It's just small mindedness and fear. Discrimination and "hatisms" are still very much alive, just not as openly obvious as it used to be. Here's the article:

New Orleans - If you're black and belly up to a bar on Bourbon Street, be forewarned: You run a 50-50 chance of either being charged more or being forced to order a minimum number of drinks.

Those are the findings of a study done for the city in the wake of the death of a black college student who died in a scuffle with white bouncers outside a bar on the famous French Quarter thoroughfare.
The study, conducted by the Greater New Orleans Fair Housing Action Center, paired black and white men of similar body type, dress and manner, and sent them into bars within minutes of each other.
Of the 28 bars visited, 40 percent charged the black customers more for drinks. A white man, for example, bought a Long Island iced tea for $7.50, while the black man was charged $9, according to James Perry, executive director of the private, nonprofit housing center.
Ten percent of the bars informed the blacks — but not the whites — that there was a drink minimum, and 7 percent told their black customers that they would have to meet a dress code.
The report recommended the city take several steps, including investigating discrimination at bars and enforcing civil rights laws through litigation.
"This is 2005, not 1964, and this will not be tolerated," said Larry Bagneris, executive director of the New Orleans Human Relations Commission.

I think the incident 4 me that will always stick out in my mind is when I walked into a convenience store and was looking in the candy aisle trying to decide what I wanted, when the old lady that worked there threatened to call the police if I didn't leave immediately. That was in TX. And believe me that's just the tip of the iceberg for some of the crazy shit that goes on down there, so that lil New Orlean's stuff is no surprise at all! I sometimes wonder what my life would be like today had there been no civil rights movement and no Martin Luther King. Would I have the friends I have, live where I'm living, would I have gone to college where I did, would I even be alive? And what would happen if I put out music as an out and proud black gay man? It's amazing the difference that just one person can make, isn't it?

" Race ... in a space that I mark 'human'. Race, face the music, we're all bones when we're dead." - Prince, Race.

The Emancipation of Mimi

They called it "the return of the voice" months ago before we had even had a single. Talk about hype! Well, I haven't bought a Mariah Carey CD since Butterfly, her last good album in my opinion. Though to be fair, I haven't heard any album in its entirety since Butterfly, but nonetheless, there hasn't been any impetus for me to actually sit down and listen to a whole record from her. I mean, Glitter? Charmbracelet? Rainbow? Come on. She was becoming a parody of herself.

Well, thankfully, that parody is over and she has FINALLY resurfaced with what is definitely her best piece of work since Butterfly and arguably one of her best efforts ever. I got this CD yesterday and haven't stopped listening to it yet. I love most of the tracks and there isn't a single track that I don't at least like. I mean, I even like her collaboration with (gasp) ... Nelly! (And if U didn't know, I can't stand Nelly.) Granted, the one with Nelly is my least favorite one on the album, but you know when the worst song is still good, you have a fucking tight record. Congratulations, Mariah! After a breakdown and several sucky records, you have returned to the throne. The voice is definitely back and she shows off her unbeliavable range with impeccable ease that almost seems impossible. Not to mention some killer songs. My favorite ones so far are We Belong Together, It's Like That, Shake It Off, Say Something, One and Only, Circles, Fly Like a Bird ... damn that's half the cd! See, that's how good it is! Having had my heart broke recently, damn, I can relate so well to a lot of the shit she's talking about. Granted, yes, it's all universal, but the hurt is still fresh 4 me , so shut up! :-)

On a segue here, I don't hurt nearly as much as I did, in fact I don't feel the pain over "the boy" at all anymore, but damn, CDs like this sure make me miss him. I miss him and I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever stop missing him, even though he's in my life still and I see him occasionally.

Mimi, how do I get emancipated from "the boy"?? Maybe if I spin this record a few dozen more times, I'll figure it out. I don't think it's leaving my CD player anytime soon.

"I'm looking 4 my one and only." - Mariah Carey

New Depeche Mode is Coming ...

and I can hardly wait! Per Billboard, they're in Santa Barbara recording now and the new record is due out in the fall. Wow, a new Coldplay album (June), new U2, new Depeche Mode ... all I need now is a new Prince album! Come on man, don't disappoint! Drop something new!

"All I ever wanted, all I ever needed is here in my arms." - Depeche Mode, Enjoy the Silence

WTF - Gay is a Naughty Word

Today's WTF entry comes from Chuck Shepherd over at NOTW:

Defensive back Randall Gay wore a New England Patriots jersey as a member of this year's Super Bowl-winning team, but when one of his former college professors tried to order a personalized jersey in tribute to Gay in mid-February, she was turned down. The National Football League's official online merchandiser, NFLshop.com, refused to imprint "Gay" on the back of a Patriots jersey because it was a "naughty" word, one of 1,159 the shop has banned. (Two weeks later, after the Web site Outsports.com picked up the story, the word was removed from the list.) [Times-Picayune (New Orleans), 3-3-05]

Well, thank Heavens 4 Outsports. I've always wanted a "Gay" jersey. It'd get me up 4 a little ball playin'!

I wonder what Randall must have thought about his name being banned. He was probably thinking ...

What the f*ck???

Beautiful Day

Yesterday had to be the single most gorgeous day we've had all year. It was breathtaking. I was with a couple of friends of mine (who are coming up on their one year anniversary soon!) and we had brunch in Canton and then went to Federal Hill and walked around the Harbor. The sun was invigorating and the breeze was absolutely perfect. I wish I had a camera, cuz the view we had from the hill was picture perfect. See, every now and then Baltimore creeps up and wows U.

It was very relaxing and gave me time to contemplate life. I really only came up with more questions than answers, but as to the question of my lovelife, everyone says it comes when you're not looking, when U least expect it. Well, that can't be true, because I always have the expectation, I'm always looking 4 it. The only difference is, once upon a time, I wasn't out there really looking. I was just under the misguided notion it would find me. I believe U have to get out there and get knocked around a bit for it. If U don't get out there, how will it ever find U? I equate it with my music. If I hadn't gotten off my ass 3 years ago and went balls 2 the wall 4 what I want, I would have never received it.

So, here I am, getting truly knocked around a bit, balls 2 the wall, ready 4 my success, ready 4 my love, the only 2 things I've ever wanted. Ok, world peace is out of my control, ok?

Sometimes, I think I should try my luck again with "the boy". We are, after everything, surprisingly still friends. And he's the closest I've ever come 2 finding love. But I know I can't go down that road with him right now. He's just not ready. When he is ready, he has 2 come 2 me. I just wonder if it will be too late. Will I have already moved on?

I know I will move on. Looking at my friends walking in front of me, holding hands, laughing and loving one another so effortlessly, well, it just inspired hope. I know it exists and I will find it.

"It's a beautiful day, don't let it get away!" - U2, Beautiful Day

The Turning of the "Screw"

The burning question of the moment is … “am I good enough 4 a hook up but not good enough 2 date?” Ludicrous, right? I mean, I know I have a whole lot to offer someone, but right now that’s just the way I feel.

There’s this boy who I’ve hooked up with on a couple of occasions, nothing serious of course. We’ve talked online a bit and as it turns out during one conversation we were both single and looking 2 date, hoping that by dating we could find love. Well? We’re both single, young, attractive, have similar interests, and we're obviously sexually into each other, so why don’t we go out? Seems like a natural progression, right? So, I called him a few times, I invited him over a time or two, but nothing, No play. Foul ball. Remember the post about hot and cold boys? Well, anyhoo, whenever I see this person in public, it’s a struggle for him to string two sentences together because he’s so busy trying to avoid me. There have been times he’s been out where he won’t even recognize that I’m there with even a simple hello. Ok, who has time for this bullshit, right?

Well, the other night in a fit of sexual desperation, I invite this boy over because A.) I’m horny B.) he doesn’t count in my “no casual sex” mantra because we’ve hooked up before on more than one occasion , and C.) I seriously like him and would LOVE the chance to see him again and actually go out in public like real people. So, I invite him over, he accepts, he’s on his way, and of course, for the third time in a row, he doesn’t show. Again, whatever. Typical ho-like bullshit.

So, the very next night I’m out at the bar and in he walks … and my friend happens to be interested in him. Things progress and as it turns out they talk for an hour, exchange numbers, go out on a “date” the next day and REALLY hit if off. And how many times did I call him and invite him out?

So, u know what, as for my friend, I hope it works out because he’s a fucking great guy and he deserves all the happiness in the world. But if I’m selfish here for a moment, what the hell was wrong with me? Honestly, I think I know exactly what it is and believe me, I’m gearing up to write about THAT particular issue in another post soon, but how will this work for me and my friend if this goes beyond a date or two and they end up seeing each other? Everytime I see him it’s going to remind me that I wasn’t good enough to date, only for a quick screw, regardless if it’s true or not, and it’s going to sting. It fucking stings now.

At the same time, I can’t say anything to my friend because I don’t want to sabotage whatever might happen between the two of them. So, if something does transpire, I’ll have no choice but to get over it and, of course, eventually I will.

Ick. Am I stupid to feel this way? Who cares, it’s the way I feel and it actually helps to write it down. Keeping this little blog is actually proving to be kind of cathartic. I just hope 2 God that nobody I know actually reads it. That would suck. Whoever u are in cyberspace still reading, let’s keep this strictly hush hush and on the DL, aiiight?

"Everybody needs somebody." - Saturn, Boy 2 Boy

No Pride?

This looks like it will be the first year since I've been doing music (3 years, LOL) that I haven't performed in a gay Pride event. I don't know what happened. I submitted my press kit, the best press kit I've had so far, to about 15 different Prides and none have responded yet. I'll admit, it's probably my fault because I suck at follow up, but I did make contact with most of them before sending them anything.

I hate follow ups because I feel like I'm bugging them, but I know it's a necessary evil. Well, I'll have to schedule myself some follow up emails next week. You should see my weekly list of tasks to do related to my music career. It keeps getting longer and longer and longer and I keep getting further and further and further behind. I need an intern!

"She works hard 4 the money!" - Donna Summer

Dating 101 - The Tingle

U know when you touch or hug someone you're really attracted to and U feel ... "the tingle"? Well, that happened to me last night for the very first time in a long time. I haven' t felt "the tingle" since my days with "the boy" a few months ago (more news on "the boy", by the way, 2 come in a later post). Well, this tingling sensation that jetted warmth and glee through my body like a heroin fix came quite unexpectedly and kind of threw me for a loop.

There's this guy who I've seen a few times at the bar and we've chatted. I always thought he was adorable, not really sexy or hot or fine or any of those lustier adjectives per se, but really and truly fucking cute. Well, I saw him last night and he opened his arms in a friendly greeting, as we often do, and I gave him a quick hug. Stunned. He felt so good in my arms, like he was supposed to be there, like he was the polar opposite of my magnetic center. He spoke for about 10 seconds then walked away, as we often do, and I was floored.

Now, as you know I've given up casual sex in the search for a relationship, so that means I haven't had sex in ... well, a bit longer than I'm accustomed to! So, I quickly turned to my roommate and his friend and asked for a hug just to make sure that the "tingle" was not in fact simple lust from a body that's been starved 4 affection. After asking me a kazillion questions ( my god, it's just a hug!) they finally complied. Nothing. Nada. In fact, downright ewwww! So, I knew that it was indeed the "tingle".

My roommate urged me, as he often does, 2 go talk 2 him. "What do U have 2 lose?" he asked with a sardonic grin. Hmm, only my dignity, self esteem and self worth when I get rejected. But what the hell, all those things have already been trampled on recently, so I made my way to the other side of the bar where I eventually got up the nerve to ask him out. He said yes ... BUT it would only be for drinks and not for a date. So, it wasn't a complete rejection, but it was a rejection nonetheless. It was his nice way of saying ... "hey, you're a cool guy, but you don't exactly turn me on." Then of course, he excused himself without getting my number or me getting his. In other words, he's not interested.

So, a couple of good things came out of this. First, I don't have to worry about him being a hot and cold boy (read other post). Second, I don't have to go through a date with him worrying about whether or not I'm being interesting, funny, boring, cute or just annoying. That's always the worst, when U know U like someone, but U have no idea yet what they think of U and U have those awkward silences. Yuck. I hate those. So, there will be none of those silences 4 us.

Whenever I run into this adorable boy who gave me the "tingle", I'll simply nod, smile, say hi and pretend like he never sparked a fire of hope in me.

"Maybe we'll meet a bar, he'll drive a funky car. Maybe we'll meet at a club and fall so deeply in love ..." - Janet Jackson, Someone 2 Call My Lover.

My 2 cents on 50 Cent

I read the Billboard Charts religiously every week. I like to see who's selling, who's on top, who's flopping, what people are buying, etc. I mean, seeing as this is the industry I'm going to be in, this is a practical thing 2 do. What isn't practical 2 me is who IS selling these days. 50 cent has been flying off the shelf at an unprecedented rate. His latest album has been number 1 for 5 weeks, he has four songs in the top ten, something that hasn't been done since The Beatles, and he shows no signs of slowing down.

Ok. Hip hop is big. I get it. I like hip hop, not as much as I used to, but I'm down with a hot infectious groove and some flow, u know? There are a lot of indie hip hop artists out there whose shit is tight and so much better than most of the crap on the radio right now. Which leads me to my question ... what's so special about 50 Cent? His ryhmes are forgettable. His beats are unoriginal and all sound the same. Maybe I'm just getting old, but I just don't get it. Being inspired by hip hop myself, I know when it's good and his shit is just ... aiiright. It's not bad, but it's FAR from being great. Yet, he is like the second coming of Eminem right now. It's wild. And it's ALL u hear on the radio.

Well, that's one reason I no longer listen to the radio. Their playlists suck. Some of the best artists out right now will never be heard by the masses, while mediocrity clutters up the airwaves.

And speaking of Eminem, it's time to evolve. I liked his first album, LOVED the second one, the Marshal Mathers LP (his masterpiece in my opinion), but then it got old because he stuck to the same formula. I know , I know, u stick to a winning formula to bring home the bacon, but 2 cds later and it's still sounding all the same and is now sounding uninspired. But hey, he's still selling millions and I'm still working a day job trying to just sell 100, much less 1000. So, maybe cookie-cutter music is the way to go. Maybe it doesn't pay 2 be 'different' right now. Then again, I've always been the odd child in life, so I guess my music would be no different, LOL.

If you haven't heard my music yet, why not buy a CD right here? If you don't like it, send it back to me and I'll send you your money back. Don't get anymore ironclad than that!

Well, kiddies, that's my rant 4 the day.

"I'll take u 2 the candy shop." - 50 Cent ... who the hell does he think he is, Willy Wonka??

Higher Education - How 2 Kick Ass

There's so much crazy shit going on in the world that sometimes it's really hard choosing just one entry for WTF Day. Such was the case today. I settled on posting this news story about this teacher who went beserk and literally kicked and stomped another teacher's ass in front of her class, because the crazy bitch happens to be from Dallas, my old stomping ground. So, here you go, courtesy of nbc5:

DALLAS -- A Dallas high school teacher is facing an assault charge after she allegedly attacked another teacher in front of a classroom of students.
Police said Paulette Baines assaulted her daughter's teacher inside a middle school classroom.
Baines allegedly grabbed the woman's hair, yanked her out of a chair and dragged her across the room while punching and kicking her.
That teacher suffered a concussion, two broken ribs and several bruises on her face.
Investigators said Baines was angry at the teacher because the woman allegedly reprimanded her daughter -- asking the girl and several other students to stop loitering at their lockers.
Baines was released from jail Saturday after posting a $2,500 bond.
She is now on paid administrative leave.

Whitney Houston said she believed the children are our future. Well crazy kids turn into crazy adults. And with role models like this women, who the hell can blame em? I mean, I used to teach, I know it's a stressful job, but damn, y'all! We got teachers lighting up weed with the kids, sleeping with the kids, beating up the kids and now we got a lady kicking the crap out of a teacher for reprimanding a kid. It's bad enough we got crazy ass kids going to school and shooting up the place, now we have to worry about the teachers promoting violence. It's just sad. Whatever happened to higher learning and enlightenment?

It just makes me say:

What the f*ck???

Casually Yours

As some of U may know, in pursuit of a meaningful and heartfelt relationship, I've recently (recently being 2 weeks ago) sworn off casual sex. By casual sex I mean sex with strangers, online "hook - ups" and drunken one nighters. I will do these things no more, my philosophy being if I want something more I should be focusing on getting what I want. From now on, I won't have sex with a guy until we've at least gotten past the dreaded "2nd date". Which, if my history is anything to go off of, means I won't be having sex for a long ass time. And by sex I mean any activity where my dick or another man's dick enters any orifice other than the hole created by our hands.

I'm feeling pretty good about this. Despite the overwhelming amount of boys who are ONLY after ass and that's it, I feel like there's a whole other world of gay men out there who are serious about dating and getting to know someone and developing a relationship that's more meaningful than the occasional booty call. Where are these gay men? I don't have a clue. But it's my quest to find them. I just hope they're not all unattractive or fuckwits.

So, it's been two weeks and I've resisted temptation thus far. How many SINGLE gay men do u know that would turn down sex with a HOT guy on principle alone? Well, I've turned down a few. And it actually hasn't been as hard as I imagined it would be (no pun intended). It's become quite empowering actually. Then again it has only been 2 weeks.

So, I was out on Saturday night and ran into an old "acquaintance" of mine. Ok, so he was an acquaintence with whom I'd had casual sex with on more than one occasion. So, I'm stuck with my first dilemma. Should a fuck buddy be considered casual sex? I would think not since we kind of know each other. Granted, I don't know his last name. It's probably on my caller ID somewhere though. So, should I call this guy up or not? I don't think he's interested in dating and I'm not sure I'd even be interested in dating him, but he is fun in bed. Is it too hard to give up casual sex cold turkey? Maybe I should ease myself into it by having rules for like the next month or 2 ... rules such as ... I can still have sex with previous fuck buddies, I can have casual sex while on vacation (if I'm still single) and I can have casual sex with people who are only visiting Baltimore for vacation or work. Oh come on, hotel sex is the best! They're usually great guys, in town for a bit, and just looking for a little companionship while they're here. What's so wrong with that?

Oy vei. I have some soul searching to do. To ho or not to ho ... that indeed is the question ...

"If U really wanna find someone 2 get some behind, I ain't the one for u." - TLC, Silly Ho.